Bitter Sweet; Chellee's take
Well, you all know Peter's feelings and reasoning behind his change of heart. After reading his explanation many people have expressed their joy in our staying but have also inquired about my feelings toward the situation, so here it is. I am really disappointed. I was really looking forward to moving out west and starting over again in a new place with new surroundings. I was looking forward to being able to spend lots of quality time with the IPs before the baby was born and getting to know their children even better. I had all these ideas of how life would be different and we wouldn't have the concerns that we have now from month to month. I had a mental list of all the friends and family I wanted to help out in different ways and started prioritizing them in my head. I had a lot of plans, but as I have learned so many times before, it isn't my plans that matter. Truth is, if it's not God's Will I don't want anything to do with it. And for reasons we may never understand, right now His Will is for us to stay where we are. I put many hours of praying into this situation and though I thought I was getting a constant "yes" I see know how I was blind to the real answer. Though I am upset and almost depressed about staying here in FL, I know things will work out for the best. I stand behind my husband's decision (though I may not agree with it) 100%. I would absolutely hate to move across country and have him be miserable in his work, if that were the case none of us would be happy. I am however very happy to be in a place where so much love is shown to us daily from all our friends and family. I knew it would be hard to leave everyone behind but I have learned from experience that if you really want a relationship to work it doesn't matter how many miles are between you. I absolutely LOVE our IPs and they really mean the world to me. It is really sad for me to know that we won't be able to spend as much time as we wanted together but through phone calls and emails we don't have to be so far apart. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that I don't have to leave everyone (especially my mom, the best Grandma ever) but I am also sad for the life that could have been. I know God will provide and we have already had many offers to help us out from our friends and family if it comes down to it. We put our faith in God and trust that we will be alright. Afterall this world is not our home so we shouldn't get too comfortable while we're here.
posted by We are the Taylors @ 11:27 AM
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